Year One – New Bible-Based Movie Won’t be Touted from Pulpits ‘cause It’s The Pits! (Opens Friday, June 19, 2009)

Hello from Digipix_Man (Ellen's husband):

We've been talking about this film for two days, so I'm chiming in first. If you believe the literal Old Testament account of the Creation of the Earth in seven days, you’ll be really surprised at what happens in “Year One,” the new Jack Black movie. Even if you aren't, you could be shocked that they would have the – the – the male parts necessary to produce such a piece of cinematic tripe. (I could have said worse.)

It's a summer movie and we're not expecting genius. My wife wanted to know if it's worse than “Jackass” the movie. I hadn’t thought of “Year One” as a sequel but Jack Black certainly qualifies as a jackass. I wonder if 'Ass' is his middle name. From now on, I won't think of Jack by any other name than Jackass Black. Hee haw.

Hebrews and Sodomites alike appear in this slapped together PG-13 film. Some Roman gladiators are thrown in for the hell of it. A couple of funny foreskin jokes tickled me (I was born Jewish and circumcised). But there's no connected story line and timelines are wrong and jarring.

See this movie at your own peril. It's crude and stupid. If you laugh too much, I wouldn’t admit it to anyone over the age of two.

Submitted by DigiPix_Man (Ellen's No-Blog husband with a mind of his own)

Ellen: Thanks, sweetie. Go do your digital photo album. I'm up now.

It's summertime and we decided to take a crack at watching a preview screening. My husband absolutely hated this movie and vents his spleen above. He also slept through parts of the film. He was awake for the endless chain of foreskin jokes -- I love Hank Azaria in anything he does. These jokes are a regular routine in Jewish humor from way back.

I channeled my inner five-year-old and chuckled loudly at much of the craziness. I love comedy, highbrow and lowbrow. This was kind of "dark circles under eye" comedy. It includes all the body parts we just don't usually talk about.

Now, I am definitely NOT a prude. I've been a bawdy, sexy, outspoken and dramatic performer since babyhood. Mom used to tell me I pulled my pants down at age 3 in Zecher's Market in Pittsburgh and threw a tantrum. An only child, I remember lyrics to musical theater songs, can recall and recite a number of radio commercials from the 1940s forward. I also love wordplay, accents, Biblical references and really twisted language. I co-hosted a children's TV show in Miami, Florida during college, and took care of children in a live audience every weekday from 5PM to 6PM.

My drama teacher in high school, a closeted gay man, became my total passion for two years. He was my homeroom teacher. He told me he was seeing a bit player who was in the movie "Quo Vadis." I was an all "A" student. I copied my teacher's handwriting. He cast me as the lead in the Senior Class play, "A Man Called Peter." I played Catherine Marshall, Peter's wife. (RIP Ernest B. Montgomery, Johnson City, Tenn. who commited suicide on May 15, 1956, just prior to my high school graduation.)

Later, I worked with homosexual males (and females) in the theater, in a variety of NYC offices, and again as a Clairol haircoloring representative for their Professional Products Division. I love makeup, fashion, and costume. I've been called a drama queen and I consider that a compliment.

I questioned, then abandoned the precepts that organized religion tried to pump into me in the Jewish temples I dutifully attended.

"Year One" did tickle the funnybone that Mel Brooks, Zero Mostel, and Lenny Bruce had tickled way before Jack Black. I love Michael Cera and Jack Black, but this movie has AMATEUR NIGHT and SKITS WOVEN TOGETHER written all over it. Much of the acting seemed like improvization. Editing and continuity issues kept creeping up. The storyline was not at all in-line. In my mind, I kept thinking that one scene situation didn't really resolve itself. It just stopped, leaving me to figure the scene out for myself. Then, these cardboard cartoon characters came back fully whole in the next scene.

I give this movie a D on Ellen's Entertainment Report card. It's not that it's terrible, it's just that it could have been much better, given all the talent that was clearly available. This movie is rated PG-13.

Official website:

Friday, June 19, 2009